Hiya, I’m Dr Katherine

I’m a keynote speaker, media commentator, mother to two fur babies and helpless shoe addict.

My Story

Me, Before Me

I believe I’m the best person to talk about self-respect, because I know exactly what it’s like to live a life without it.

I was a really great actress

Whether I was an acne-faced teenager, an undergrad with no direction, a woman lonely and desperate for love or an inauthentic CEO, my fear of judgement fueled the facade of a smiling, successful and super-fit scholarship-winner who ‘had it all’.

It was f*&king exhausting.

If you like me, I like me

My obsession with being liked paralyzed me. I became a chameleon not only to fit in with a ‘popular group’, but to become the person who got the most attention and love. Because no-one cares about second place, right?

It was an enviable, but fake life.

Sex, drugs and destroyed dignity

By 15, I was addicted to the high of cocaine to escape feeling self-conscious. But my chemical confidence was an illusion, making me an easy target for men who pretended to love me, so they could use and discard me. When the dream-like world disappeared, my worth plummeted, and the cycle repeated – for 17 years.

I was addicted to toxicity.

Business, blame and bankruptcy

I followed my dream of being a restaurateur until a nightmare quarter million dollar bankruptcy at only 23. Rather than recognising the difficulty of what I tried to accomplish, with no prior industry knowledge, I diminished my own achievements whilst comparing myself to the success of strangers.

I was humiliated by my business failure.

Starvation + Self-Torture

My only sense of control was through draconian diets and militant exercise routines - my worth clinging on to every lost calorie. This ended when I took a single bite of a chocolate pudding; a food on my “restricted list”. That disastrous bite turned into hours of bingeing, setting off a decade-long eating disorder that eventually led me to plan suicide.

I was trapped in my own personal hell.

A PhD with no pride

Despite receiving praise for my post-grad degrees, I'd give them up to reclaim the seven miserable years pursuing them. I had only chosen that path to stay close to a professor who seduced me with charm. As a result, my degrees felt meaningless. I used my ‘Dr’ title as a weak scaffold for my crumbling worth. I blamed myself for over 15 years, naive to the reality he had abused his authority and manipulated my feelings.

I thought my dark secret would haunt me forever.

It all came crashing down

For 10 years post PhD, I tried to become a sought-after “thought-leader”; going from a fitness guru, to body-image coach, to mindset mentor to confidence expert.

But it never worked. A guise of success hid the reality that my brand never gained traction. I gave everything up to become a CEO for a global company, even though this decision led to the breakdown of my relationship.

My life was smoke and mirrors. Eventually I quit everything, and became a champion of my own misery for months. I was existing, not living.

I felt like I would never amount to anything.

The realisation

I found myself using ‘comfortable’ explanations for why I had quit. “I lost passion”, “I outgrew the brand”; statements that protected my ego when explaining my choices to friends, family and co-workers.

But secretly I asked myself: Maybe I had lost confidence? I had preached its benefits for so long that I naturally thought it would help me find a new direction.

My gut told me otherwise. I had felt this pain before and knew the antidote could only be found in a place where self-judgement didn’t exist.

I realised my ‘failure’ wasn’t because I didn’t work hard or wasn’t able. It was because I was back to my old patterns, caring about other people’s opinions more than my own.

I had become a “confidence expert” only because “professionals” told me that this was the pathway towards success. I led myself to believe that what I had to say and had no value and would never be accepted or understood by others. And without their acceptance, I was nothing.

I was abusing the gift of being on earth.

The Quest

I turned to my dad, my guiding light, who reminded me of an important quote from Hamlet he had taught me decades prior:

To thine own self be true.

But to be true to oneself, first, we have to respect ourselves without the help of others.

When I think back to people I worked with; hundreds of conversations with clients, audience members and workshop participants, the solution to suffering was never, ever about their confidence, it was about being proud of who they are despite their suffering or lack of confidence.

And I was no exception: the lowest points of my life always corresponded to times when I lacked self-respect.

Lessons Learned

I became obsessed with self-respect, like an elephant diving into a cup – consumed and focused, researching and exploring everything I could find.

How does self-respect shape who we are, the decisions we make and the lives we live as leaders, best friends, mentors, parents and entrepreneurs?

Here’s what I found.

When you respect yourself, external validation is always welcomed, but isn’t a requirement to feel loved and of value.
The quickest way to lose respect for yourself is by living inauthentically through the perceived or actual expectations of others.
Respecting yourself does not depend on what’s happened in the past. It’s simply a choice.

The Journey ahead

The truth is fame, fortune, likes and followers feel good and will boost your self-esteem. But without self-respect, this praise will be void and empty of meaning.

By choosing to honour your own needs and desires, you can break free from the limitations of external validation and live authentically.

Respect yourself, don't stand in your way,
For a life of purpose and progress each day.
Hold your head high, stay proud and true,
And you'll find strength in all you do.

Dr K

Self-respect isn’t built in a day — but you can start building it in 5 minutes.

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30 days to stop overthinking everything

Self-respect isn’t built in a day, but you can start building it in 5 minutes. Join the waitlist to be the first to access a series of short daily audio boosters that you can listen to while walking, driving or hiding in the bathroom from your family (I see you). Bite-sized truths to help you ditch people-pleasing and trust yourself again... in just 5 minutes a day.